here, is what i dont get.
about these fucking CD playing dipshits.
so, this guy, makes a fucking “banger” on some pirated software, sends it to spinnin records or whoever the fuck, gets it up on beatport, sells a few thousand copies… makes a little capital, great. thats totally fine. THAT i have no problem with. why the fuck not. doing what you can with what you got, making some moves, bringin in some revenue so your mom and dad get off your fuckin back for turning down that job or whatever.
ive fuckin been there. i get it. thats totally fine.
so your banger makes some waves here n there… so you fuckin rinse it. shit. makes 4 more like it or whatever, do an “EP”. make a whole fuckin album. thats your sound (even if it sounds like some other twat) didnt matter. also fine.
bookings come in, playing club x and y…. welcome to fuckin stardom hero. time to micromanage that shit and make it last. maybe do some outsourcing, who fucking knows. doesnt matter. deliver product. make waves. GET HYPE.
alright, so by now everyone in US/CAN/EU knows your fucking name…. your headlinning this and that…. you show up to X shitfest, and play a CD.
STOP.
I AM CONFUSED. are you or are you not a guy who can use a comupter to make music? because youre making in upwards of 200K to play a fucking CD…. so… wait. why?
With all the resources you have attained in the past X years of getting to where you are now…. WOULD IT FUCKING KILL YOU, to be able to add some sort of modularity, performance, showmanship BEYOND putting a fist in the air, telling people to make noise, and or playing the top line on an invisible keyboard in the air to show the crowd “HEY! EVERYONE! THIS LEAD GOES HERE! WATCH MY HAND. IT GOES DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT”
so with an inexhaustable amount of income from all the good fine folk who gave you way too much money to be up there…. you couldnt even be fucked to plug in a keyboard to play 4 fucking notes from time to time?
look, you MADE the fucking track, you HAVE the stems (at least you BETTER have them fucking stems) DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Youre a fucking act. youre beyond a CD player. at least YOU FUCKING BETTER BE if im going to pay 100 bucks to watch you.
So you cant pllay a keyboard? COOL! ME NEITHER! MIDI bro. its been around since the 80′s which is about 11 years before you were even fucking concieved. and it STILL works great.
wanna get even cooler about it? OSC is the latest fuckin craze. get your script on bitch. OR, bank out your stems, throw down some smpte on another track to sync some tailored visuals too… because your VJ is sick of trying to figure out when youre going to hit the sync button and let the last CD fade before you pull in the other one.
Some of you get it. i know. Stage design…. if you cant do any thing above this line _________________________ then shit…. wrap it up in a cool stage… and get some performers up there with you…… nope! wont sound like the fuckin CD…. in fact, itll likely sound worse…. perhaps out of tune / time…. BUT HEY! people arent stupid, you are… they notice nice little nuances like that, but instead youre sitting there trying to think of when the best time to say “put your fuckin hands up” is…. or your worried you might have said it 16 bars ago and just forgot… now youre all self concious and thinking “fuck… i really say that alot”
i think this hits the core of what Noel Gallagher was hinting at. Not EDM in general.
SADLY 4 U. you might not get paid as much :*( :*( because of ALLL THAT EFFORT you have to do *sigh* to put on a show…. but in the end, people will notice…. and the respect you’d gain from ACTUAL MUSICIANS (and people with actual brains) is priceless.
so, please, stop fucking up “EDM” with your fucking bullshit lazy CD playing and get to fucking work like the many others who are… then, the people who do put forth the bits when they can, dont look as fucking stupid as you.
DANKE!
